Good Morning! Good afternoon beautiful souls!
Wherever you are in the world today I send you positive vibes. Namaste!
Today’s post is still focused around self-care, I'm just coming at it this week from a deeper, more reflective perspective.
Over the last month, I have been fortunate enough to help organize and participate in a thirty day love yourself challenge. Some activities we were given to do were light hearted but very effective none the less.
Other tasks required a lot more concentration and honesty. Several nights over the last few weeks I've found myself sat with a notepad and pen, discovering things about my inner self I had no idea existed.
I'm not afraid to look within, I do it quite often as I personally believe that it’s a healthy practice, to help make sense of our emotions, our state of mind. Yet it’s amazing how a simple question can catch you off guard and really make you think about the way you view the world around you.
That question for me was: HOW DO YOU SEE YOURSELF?
Simple enough question, extremely difficult to answer, especially if you struggle with positive self-talk.
But it was put across to me in such a way I was able to answer openly and comfortably and through it developed an understanding and self-acceptance, It really helped me adapt my mindset in a very positive way.
So, I invite you lovely people to try the task today.
If you do decide to give this a try, please aim to be completely open and honest with yourself. We can’t reflect, evaluate and move forward if we're denying ourselves pieces of the puzzle! (it’s so easy to make ourselves believe we should be thinking a certain way, and ignore the truth).
Let’s be honest for a minute.
Self-reflection is hard and sometimes it can be very bloody painful. No one wants to open a door or rip the band-aid off and open old wounds. Yet we need to address those feelings sooner rather than later so we can learn how to effectively manage them.
You can always write them down if that makes the process of reflection easier, or talk to someone who can help you make sense of them. (It’s ok to need help!)
But finding help in any form starts with honesty.
So, without further ado let’s begin the task.
How Do others see you?
The way I want you to do that is to put yourself into the shoes of a stranger. Become somebody different for a small while.
Sit somewhere quiet and Imagine as this stranger, you are meeting YOU for the first time. From this stranger’s perspective:
What do you think of the other person’s appearance?
How does this person talk to you?
What type of things will this person say?
What characteristics do you see reflected from this person: friendliness, hostility?
What type of body language can you see or sense?
Open or closed?
How do you feel being around this person? Uneasy? A relaxed? Happy? Angry? Sad?
Could you be friends with a person who has the kind of qualities that you notice?
If yes, why?
If no, why not?
Then put yourself back into your own shoes, you are yourself again and see the world through familiar eyes.
But curious minds would like to know...
What type of light have you painted yourself in?
Positive or negative?
If you feel people view you in a positive light that's brilliant and beautiful to feel confident and likable as a person.
If you painted yourself in a negative light, I'm very sorry to hear you feel that way. I've been there, and it’s very disheartening and self-esteem lowering when you feel that people simply won’t like your true self.
But please ask yourself the following questions.
WHY do you think that people see you in that way?
How do you know that people view you in this way?
Has anyone ever directly pointed out these characteristic’s that you feel are negative and unlikeable? Told you things to make you believe this is who you are?
If yes how long ago? Was it just one person or several?
Sometimes one negative remark about the way we behave can affect our mindset and our confidence. No one likes to hear negative critique. But that's all it is, critique. If you have unfortunately received similar feedback from a variety of people, use it as an opportunity to undergo self-development and grow in a healthy positive way, don't use it as a reason to treat yourself unkindly.
But...8/10 times it is only what we think other people see within us.
Speaking of personal experience and lessons I've learned. Those who I felt perceived me negatively? Had never given me any solid indication that my suspicions were true. They had never confronted me and told me or anyone else how they really felt about me as a person and no such person came forward to tell me.
Most of the time it was my low self-esteem and lack of belief that tricked me into thinking that people saw me a certain way.
I was convincing myself that I could tell how people felt about me. As though I could get inside their heads and read their thoughts.
When really, it had nothing to do with me. If that person liked me or not. It was none of my business. Just like it was nothing to do with anyone else how I felt about them.
The only thing that matters in that kind of situation is how you feel about yourself.
Some people will like you, some people won’t. That is the harsh reality of life, but unless they tell you as such. Don't assume that's what they think or feel.
Focus on YOU and how YOU can love yourself, and what you can do make your self-esteem and inner dialogue kinder and better.
Until next time, loves!